Since outing oneself as a member of an outcast subculture can carry serious mainstream social consequences, many swingers find that they have to maintain a double-life. More: The essential guide to Lenny Kravitz’s #penisgate accessoryĮven though Stern enjoys The Lifestyle and boasts of its sexual and social benefits, he is quick to say that swinging is not for everyone. In a role reversal that is surprising to outsiders, it is the single men who tend to lack power in the swinging subculture, and are the most likely to only be tolerated. Single women, similarly, are like unicorns and have carte blanche. According to Stern, the sexual ecosystem of the swinging subculture is ruled by couples. He also found that The Lifestyle comes with a social hierarchy that took him some time to figure out. “It’s probably because we’re all outside society’s norm, so we understand.” “I’ve found swingers to be the most accepting and caring lot I’ve come to know in this life,” Stern says. What he found, however, was that swingers are just regular men and women who may be a little more kinky than the average person, and often a lot more tolerant. “The major stereotypes are that swingers are a subculture of overly libidinous miscreants that want to anything with a pulse,” he says. He explains that he had preconceived notions of swingers that weren’t exactly flattering or, apparently, accurate. Once he was inside the swinging subculture, Stern was surprised by what he found. More: Sexy book excerpt: The first look at Christina Lauren’s Dark Wild Night It took him a while, but after six months, he was in. “Gut-wrenchingly horrendous single male behavior is all too well known among Lifestylers - pushy, rude and selfish among the most common descriptors,” he says. “However, locating The Lifestyle and accessing all of its fruits were two wholly different achievements.” For several months, Stern had to ingratiate himself to the swingers he met in order to prove that he wasn’t just another single male looking for a quickie. “Upon hearing his description of this carnal fantasy-land, I thought, ‘I want to go to there,'” he explains. He decided to seek out sexual practice before landing in another relationship, so he perked up when he heard an acquaintance mention “The Lifestyle” at a party. Stern first looked into swinging when he was in his late 20s and perceived himself as terrible at sex. “I posit that everyone is one degree away from a swinger they just don’t know it.” “They are teachers and police officers and lawyers and business people it’s every walk of life,” Stern says.
According to Daniel Stern, author of Swingland and a 10-year swinging veteran himself, there are an estimated 15 million swingers around the globe, and you’d be hard-pressed to figure out which of your family members or neighbors are secretly swinging at first glance.
0 kommentar(er)
